lost my Dad right before Thanksgiving. It's been really hard. We don't live near my parents or siblings for almost 30 years. Also not having a good relationship with my siblings makes it very hard. I left 30 years ago for my own survival. They were toxic. Drug and alcoholic users. Now to face them just to see my Dad buried is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I will have to be surrounded by them in such an uncomfortable emotional state and that's why I left years ago because I can't survive there abuse. I've been doing so well ever since I left. I just wish they would make this easy for me to be there. Tell me it's a safe place. Instead they are telling me rules I must follow. One of my brothers also cussed me out while I was on the phone listening to their plans for Dads services. We haven't spoken since. I know I left years ago and I'm unable to be there to help plan my Dads funeral. But I want for nothing or have I ever asked for anything. Being there with them just to share in our sadness even though Dad isn't alive anymore just doesn't feel right for me. I'd love to just remember my Dad the last time we spoke on the phone. It was a nice conversation as we always have done. I hope making the decision to not go they can respect!
i'm so sorry that you lost your dad losing a parent is never easy. It's almost feeling like you're an orphan I understand. I'm sorry that your family has been so chaotic but I pray that from the saying forward that you will have peace with your family and that I understand you not going is your choice I would say just visit wherever he is laid to rest afterwards and sit down and have a conversation with him. I don't know if you're believe or not but you can always talk to God and tell him your sorrows he always listens. I'll keep you in my prayers and I hope that you were doing better , we all love you here you might not have a great family by Blood but you definitely have a great family with our Bluestar neighborhood.
with love Mandy Barber
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, Patricia. I do not have personal experience with losing a parent, but I pray that you feel peace about your final decision, no matter what that is. I think grief is very tricky, especially when there is trauma involved. We are all different in how we handle and process it, and if that's remembering the last conversation you had with your father and not attending his funeral, and it feels right to you, that is all that matters right now. Guard your heart and your mind. If you are looking for resources, please let us know. Nothing is Wasted may be a good place to start for support in working through your grief.
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